I may not voice it all the time, but on the inside I feel like I might explode.
Tonight I am going to my very first shift as a nurse. I'm off orientation, so it's just me...planning care for a patient, having their lives in my hands, the one responsible for their care. Does this warrant a panic attack? Yes it does.
Tonight while I was catching up on last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy and putting on makeup I just began to cry. You would think that I cried b/c I'm stressed out. Sure, that may have played a part, but I more began to cry b/c I was looking at myself in the mirror and I just felt God say, "This is it. I've brought you right here to this point. You are ready."
As I sat there & just looked at myself I began to realize, the grueling 6 weeks of Sophomore year in the summer, the sleepless nights of Junior year, the stress of Senior year, and my 12 weeks of orientation all boil down to right now. Literally the past 3 years of my life I did not think I would make it, yet here I am. It's comforting to know that God's plans work out when you think they never will. I've been learning and training since summer of 2009 to be right here, and I'm so thankful God has brought me here. I feel like for once in my life God is smiling on me. I feel like for the first time in my life I have finally made Him proud. This is it.
Here goes nothing.
